Prov. 18:21 says, death and life are in the power of the tongue. James also makes a statement concerning the tongue that may, at first glance, appear to be outrageous – that if a man can control the tongue he can control the whole man (Jas. 3:2). It points to the volatility of the tongue and the tendency of man to misuse it. The Bible lists no less than 21 sins of the tongue: it is with the tongue we boast, lie, deceive, swear, slander, gossip, flatter, backbite, practice filthy speech, evil speaking, grumbling, murmuring etc. The question is asked as to whether a person can be a good person with vile speech. The answer is “No!” (Matt. 12:34).
The tongue has uses that have a multiplying effect – a sort of negative value-adding: we use the tongue to get us into trouble, and then think we can use the tongue to get us out of trouble! The fact that the tongue is such a dominating part of the whole person, means, to put a positive spin on it, that whilst we must put a lot of effort into controlling the tongue, such efforts will bring forth great dividends. If we can pay attention to it then we will do a lot for the whole man. Working on the use of the tongue can have positive value-adding in the Christian life. As Tancred said, There is no index of character so sure as the voice.
Matt.5:33-37 records some observations of Jesus on the use of oaths. The very fact oaths are made, and that people are put under oaths, indicates life is lived in the evil of mistrust, and that we have to compel people, as far as we can, to tell the truth. It reveals how man will be tempted to lie or in some way deceive. Christians are not averse to being put under oath, such as in a court of law (even Jesus was), but Jesus is saying Christians are not to be people who NEED to be put under oath to tell the truth. Let your yea be yea and your nay be nay. Simply affirm or deny. Two simple words but so important. As Josh Billings said, One half of the troubles of this life can be traced to saying YES too quickly and not saying NO soon enough.
I made the point previously that efforts to use the tongue properly will do a lot for the man and his life. This command, Let your yes be yes and your no, no, if obeyed, will do so much for your life. How?
First, you will tell the truth and not be a liar. You will be a person of your word. His word is as good as his bond is an old expression that was meant to be an ultimate compliment as to one’s truthfulness. You will be a reliable person, who is a person highly-valued. Speak to employers as to what they want in an employee, for example. They want someone reliable, not one who is full of excuses.
Second, you will maintain your marriage commitment. “I do” is the equivalent of “yes”. When couples go to divorce courts, they may remember their wedding day, but many have forgotten what they said that day. When the Celebrant asked, “Do you take so-and-so..till death do you part? What came out of the mouth? “I do”. Let your yes be yes.
Third, it helps in child-raising. Many are afraid of “No!”. It is one of the shortest words in the language yet many are terrified of it. Parents are afraid they are going to damage little Johnnie’s psyche if they cross his will. Every little Johnny needs to have his psyche adjusted and his will crossed. How else will he ever learn that he doesn’t own this world and that he can’t have his own way as a matter of course. What he often learns is:”no” doesn’t mean “no” when it is spoken by his parents. He learns that “no” really means “maybe”, or more to the point, “no” really means “yes” as long as I whinge and whine enough. It’s a rude shock when he learns that when others say “no” they mean “no”, and that when God says “no” He means “no”.
Also, it helps stop indecisiveness because something that cannot be stopped or recalled is the spoken word. Remember when Ezra was too embarrassed to ask the king for an escort because he had already made his boast of God (Ezra 8:21-23)? Remember Jephthah and his vow made the honour roll of faith in Hebrews 11 (v.32)? Was it a foolish vow? Yes. But he is honoured because he kept it. Some people you just can’t get a straight answer out of: getting a commitment or a decision is like pulling teeth. They are aware of the need to tell the truth but can’t commit. This is not a good habit. Such people have a brace of answers they always use: “I’ll let you know”; “I’m not sure what I’m doing”; “I’ll get back to you on that” (but never do)’; “I think I may be busy then” and so on. You’d think they had the responsibilities and schedule of Donald Trump! Sometimes these are out and out deliberate and conscious lies, but sometimes it is more a reflection of an indecisive habit. To commit with the tongue, and let your yes be yes, and your no be no, is a way to grow in commitment and decisiveness.
But what about when you change your mind? Is there a time to change your mind? Paul found himself in such a situation outlined in 2 Cor. 1:15-23. One of the special features of this letter is the ways in which a Christian may defend himself when maligned or misrepresented. Few people take the trouble to check out a piece of slander – we tend to believe it, especially when it is not denied.
- Paul was accused of levity and inconstancy, not a contradiction between his words and intentions. He said there was no hidden message in his words. Words are funny things: they may be used to either reveal or else conceal, thoughts. Do we mean to the full everything we say? We may say a thing because we feel it is the right thing to say (cf. Peter on the mount of transfiguration – Luke 9:33). We may say something just to be agreeable, or to avoid trouble. Sometimes we have to change our resolves but only for weighty reasons. In God there is not yea and nay, but yea and amen. There is a constancy and unquestioned sincerity in the gospel. Those who follow God must acquire the mind of God. Paul said his preaching was not wavering and uncertain, so would a man who preached thusly be a man who practised deception and lightness of word? He changed his mind because of a noble desire, not because of lightness. God has to change His mind sometimes. He told Jonah to preach “Yet forty days and Nineveh shall be overthrown.” It didn’t happen and Jonah was upset with God. Did God use lightness? Was God wishy-washy? Did God say one thing and secretly mean another? Repentance on the part of the Ninevites demanded a change on God’s part. All the promises of God are yea and amen in Him. The sending of Christ was a confirmation that God is a “yes” God, not a “no” God. God is for us, not against us. God could make it easier on Himself if He made fewer promises. If God be for us who can be against us. Promises were made and they were fulfilled and we can only say “Amen!”. Jesus is the Amen of God (Rev. 3:14), for in Him every promise of God is seen to be true. Christian doctrine is certain, abiding, definite and unchangeable. The old gospel is the gospel for new times. Even so, those who abide in Christ are to be a people who are certain, abiding, definite and unchangeable. We are not to be fickle, but steadfast.